It also closes you off to the facets of who you are. Walls scream “I don’t trust myself!” I don’t trust I will open myself to the right people so I will just close myself off as a means to avoid it altogether, but you don’t have to be a relationship expert to know that walls also stop you from experiencing spiritual depths of relationships. Defense mechanisms are a way we repress or project our internal insecurities and fears to avoid conflict, but it has little to do with the conflict itself as it does with the trust you have for handling the conflict that arises. Defense mechanisms are really about other people. Let’s not get it twisted though, there’s a distinct difference between setting clear boundaries and have your walls up.īoundaries protect your values for life and walls are a defense mechanism. Because I’ve gone through friendship breakups in the past, my boundaries are very clear now. I am very protective of the sanctuary that is my home, my relationship, my life, my business, and my energy. I don’t know about you, but homie don’t play that anymore. There weren’t a clear sense of boundaries, so it was easy for damaging characteristics to go under the radar. When I take a look back at past friendships and relationships that ran their course, I realized there were several qualities missing I wasn’t aware of. I know that doesn’t sound pleasant but I’m here to tell you the hard truths, lovingly of course, which happens to be the 9th quality of a trustworthy person I spoke about today (see more below). Now, it’s easy to point the finger at others and call someone a bad friend or an untrustworthy partner, but the fact is, you are attracting them for a reason.
Gomez peer trust worthy how to#
Watch how to effectively activate the time-out card. Time-out card says: “I love you, but I’m gonna have to love you over here until you learn how to behave in my presence.” If you’re new, let me introduce the time-out card. I don’t care if they are family, if they can’t hold up to the standards of being a trustworthy person, you will need to pull the “ time-out card” them. What about your significant other? Do you fully trust them or do you hold your friendships at higher regard? I often see women holding their friendships to a higher standard than their intimate relationships but here’s the truth my dear, whoever is in your inner circle (family, friends, or significant other) they must all embody the 10 qualities I discuss in today’s episode otherwise you will continue feeling unsafe and uncertain about who you can trust with major life issues. When you think about friendships that have ended, why did they end and what qualities did they lack? We always hear that relationships are built off trust, but how do you know when someone is trustworthy? When you think about your close friends, what qualities do they embody that has kept your friendship group tight? Afterall, we want to surround ourselves with trustworthy people right?
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